Days after Corey’s breakup, a photo of her ex wrapped in the arms of another woman goes viral on Facebook. Confronted with this gleeful boast about “happily ever after,” Corey, a forty-something lesbian, decides that she can’t live in a state of perpetual loneliness, plagued with the burden of her own failure in finding happiness and love.
Armed with her meticulously crafted checklist, Corey embarks on a mission to heal, move on, and find “the one.” But no matter how many items she checks off her list or how faithfully she follows the sage wisdom of psychics, her breakup coach, and the legendary rapper Eminem, her hope in finding her one true love begins to fade away—until she’s suddenly torn between two.
Now, with her heart unexpectedly on the line, Corey must find out what she really wants—and where her true happiness lies.
Amazon #1 Bestseller – LGBTQ+ Biographies & Memoirs
Finalist for the International Book Awards – LGBTQ+ Nonfiction
READERS’ FAVORITE 5 STARS
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Endorsements
Gabrielle Stone, Bestselling Author of Eat, Pray, #FML
“Fiercely honest and at times hilarious. The only messy way I want to read about a healing journey.”
Sarah Prout, Bestselling Author of Dear Universe
“The Soulmate Strategy is a raw, insightful, and important book about what it really takes to rebuild your life after heartbreak. Through humor, honesty, and hard-won wisdom, Corey Seemiller invites readers into her year-long journey from devastation to self-discovery, showing that healing isn’t about finding “the one,” but about finding yourself again. This isn’t a fairy tale about love, it’s a real story about courage, clarity, and the messy, beautiful work of starting over. The Soulmate Strategy reminds us that every ending holds the possibility of an empowering new beginning.”
Dorothy, Breakup Coach + Host of The How to Get Over Your Ex podcast
“I love love loved this book. It’s raw, hilarious, and so freaking relatable. Corey lives out loud while she just brings you with her through the mess. If you’ve ever ugly-cried in your car or questioned your entire worth over a breakup, this will make you feel seen in the best way while providing the hope you need to make it through the day. The Soulmate Strategy is the book you can read instead of obsessively googling how to get over your ex.”
Bethany Nicole, Astrologer and Relationship Expert
“In this real, raw, and laugh-out-loud honest memoir, Corey takes us along as she navigates heartbreak, the search for her soulmate, and her classically Virgo Soulmate Strategy. From psychic readings to speed dating, she tries it all, and with every awkward encounter, hopeful misstep, and hilarious experiment, we feel like we’re right there beside her—cringing, cheering, and laughing through it all. It’s messy, unpredictable, and completely relatable: a truly wild ride through love, life, and the sometimes outrageous quest for ‘the one.’”
Cassie Parks, Money Manifesting Coach
“The quest for love is Universal, and readers of this book will find themselves enthralled with Corey’s journey while reflecting and maybe even healing their own. It is heart-warming, engaging, and an honest look at what it takes to move through heartache and be ready for your soulmate.”
Dagmar Kusiak, Dating and Relationship Coach
“The Soulmate Strategy is about discovering yourself. It shows the power of journeying through uncertainty, heartbreak, and the messiness of starting over. If you’ve done the therapy, read all the books, journaled your heart out, and still found yourself wondering, ‘Am I going to die alone?,’ this one’s for you. Corey realized her biggest fear wasn’t being alone. It was staying in a relationship that wasn’t right. Like many of us, she clung to people who checked all the right boxes, but didn’t actually connect with her soul. Leaving those relationships felt like failure. Until she reframed it: ‘It’s not a failure to leave. It’s a failure to stay in something that doesn’t honor your authentic self.’ You also get insights to her tools, some are the same ones I’ve used myself, and shared with clients to build a healthy relationship that starts with you. It’s beautifully written and a must-read.”
ReviewS
Kirkus-Full Text-Unexcerpted
Seemiller’s memoir charts her search for healing following the end of a romantic relationship.
In this work, the author explores themes of self-discovery and emotional resilience, using her own heartbreak as a focal point. Structured in four parts (“Getting Up,” “Getting Out,” “Getting Through,” and “Getting On”), the book covers a year in Seemiller’s life. Beginning with the first days after a breakup, the narrative takes readers through the author’s changing reactions, from pain and raw emotion to much more reflective understandings of love, attachment, and, self-worth. The book’s introduction, “Naked and Afraid,” finds Seemiller at a chaotic pool party: “Maybe spending the Fourth of July at a lesbian pool party I found online wasn’t the best idea,” she writes. From there, the author continues along the recovery path. Readers are taken on an emotional and humorous ride as Seemiller examines her fear of failure and her drive to find meaning beyond romantic validation. The author’s reflections are not limited to her romantic life—topics such as her parents’ troubled marriage and her experiences as a single mother allow her to address generational and psychological patterns that shaped her and others close to her. By the time Seemiller reaches the final section, readers will notice a transformation: Instead of looking for a new soulmate, Seemiller has learned to become emotionally whole on her own.
The author’s voice—articulate yet unpretentious, self-aware but not self-pitying (and sometimes laugh-out-loud funny)—elevates this book above the typical memoir. Seemiller at times writes with the insight of a psychologist, and at others with the warmth of a friend; readers who have found themselves lost in the aftermath of a lost love will find themselves in her story (the author has a knack for making even ultra-personal confessions entirely relatable). Ultimately, Seemiller delivers a compelling account of grief and growth, demonstrating that even the most painful endings can lead to profound self-discovery and, perhaps, a new kind of love.
A frank and compelling memoir full of emotional wisdom.
*Click here to view the Kirkus Review in the print edition (only selected reviews appear in the print version).
What reads like a dramatic work of LGBTQ+ romantic fiction, “The Soulmate Strategy: My Imperfect Plan to Conquer Heartbreak and Find True Love” is actually the personal memoir of Corey Seemiller — her life, her experiences, her quest for love. An impressively candid, articulately presented, and simply fascinating life story that will hold a very special appeal to readers with an interest in LGBTQ+ contemporary biographies and memoirs, “The Soulmate Strategy is both intensely personal and yet has a universal resonance for anyone struggling with a midlife crisis of the heart — straight or gay.
Unconventional Quirky Bibliophile
What I Liked: I tend to have a hard time reviewing memoirs because they are so personal, so I don’t like to review the content. In this case, though, I am happy to talk about the way the information was presented and how this book captured by attention through every page and transition in Corey’s life. This is one that I would love to revisit again just to see what I get from it when re-reading. This time it was fascinating to see how much of a previous me I recognized in Corey’s struggle to move forward from her exes and to trust herself and the decisions she makes.
The pacing of this book is perfect with its short chapters and the various forms of relaying the story, such as text messages and conversation pieces with others. It was fascinating to not get Corey’s plan until the end of the book and to be along the journey with her. The book is seperated into different sections, and it was great to see these different points through Corey’s life and see how much she grows through each of these stages.
Final Verdict: The Soulmate Strategy: My Imperfect Plan to Conquer Heartbreak and Find True Love is a sweet memoir that reminds us of the importance of loving ourselves and giving ourselves grace when dealing with heartbreak. This book is perfect for those who are looking to heal from heartbreak or looking to find themselves again after losing themselves in someone else. This book is also great for those of us who just want to see how others navigate heartbreak and loss to gain a new perspective on moving forward.
My view: Relatable story of resilience even if you’re not going through a heartbreak. What to do when your only plan shatters. Well written, snappy and modern. Reading was like having a close friend we can trust. Although I love the chosen one tropes in literature, I am with the author, there is not THE ONE, raising interesting point of view to discuss. It’s about hardwork not finding a random solution. Interesting read for those like me who are tired of perfectionism.
In her recently released book The Soulmate Strategy: My Imperfect Plan to Conquer Heartbreak and Find True Love, (She Writes Press), Corey Seemiller, an accomplished professor, author, podcaster and TED speaker, writes from an initial position of neediness, a desire to be loved, a desire to be with someone, to the point that she often dishonours her own wishes and wants, which is a space so many of us have found ourselves in.
This story is exactly why I love memoirs. You experience someone’s real journey right along with them: the raw, relatable vulnerability of heartbreak and recovery. It’s a story so personal that by the end, you feel like one of Corey’s friends. The Soulmate Strategy is a hilariously funny tale, yet it’s painful to read at times because you just want to wrap her in a bear hug and tell her: it’s going to be okay. Keep going!Corey captures the magic of memoir in this heartfelt quest to find the one. As a scientific person myself, I completely related to her equation-based approach to healing and love: make a step-by-step recovery list, meticulously complete each task, and poof. The result should be the perfect happily-ever-after, right? If only life and love were that easy.
Corey has been successful in her life. She has a great career that she’s truly passionate about, is raising a healthy-minded, well-rounded child, and has friends, but there’s one thing that’s missing: a soulmate. After watching her parents stay in a difficult, mismatched marriage for too long, she vowed early on never to repeat their mistakes. What she has learned through observation is that love eventually leaves, as with her dad when he packed his bags and went away, and two failed long-term relationships that ended in breakup.
Determined to fix the problem by strategically getting over heartbreak, she tries to hurry through the suffering and find true happiness by joining meetup groups, working out her angst through strenuous hikes, creating mantras, going to therapy, and having several close friends to bounce ideas off of. She writes her step-by-step catalog into what she calls “The Plan.” When The Plan doesn’t create her desired outcome within the specific timeline she envisions, Corey goes to greater lengths, getting advice from several different psychics, practicing the law of attraction, adding Reiki and crystal therapy to her routine, doing online “practice” dating, and eventually finding a past-life regression therapist (which sounded so cool; I can’t wait to find someone near me who does this).
Once she has narrowed the search to two candidates, Corey continues to ruminate, overanalyzing her connection to each person, placing much emphasis on the psychic’s details and looking for universal signs instead of embracing her own feelings, hoping that her choice will be the right one. While everyone can learn from their past mistakes, we see Corey’s almost paralyzing fear of making the wrong decision, so much so that she keeps the psychic’s analysis from her two prospects, hoping that external signs will choose for her and guide her path correctly. However, Corey eventually realizes that not everything can be left up to fate. The confusion she felt from waiting for signs from the universe was, in due time, replaced by trust in herself. She says: “While I do still trust the universe, I learned the value of embracing my own free will and not overemphasizing the importance of spiritual messaging during vulnerable times in my life” (372).
At the end of the book, Corey reveals The Plan and analyzes the wins and/or failures of each step, which I thought captured the essence of her experience completely. As a writer with two degrees in science, I relate to her approach of creating a step-by-step plan to achieve the end result, which was funny, considering it was about finding your true love, but completely compatible with a science-based brain. It was a nice personalized detail to include; it almost made me want to print it out and tape it to my closet door. For example, she says:
I’ve never been one to keep a secret. So, holding on to the psychic prophecy not only weighed on my conscience but also put at risk two very important relationships in my life. I will forever be grateful to both of them for accepting my confession and choosing to continue our connections. The whole situation, though, prompted me to add “Be transparent” to The Plan so I would never find myself harboring another secret (373).
Another hilarious aspect I completely loved about this book: instead of using the characters’ names, she kept them anonymous by labeling them with details specific to each one. There’s the friend she met at a meetup pool party, Naked and Afraid; the social-media friend, TikTok; the online date with no in-person chemistry, East Coast; the date where they went shopping, Pants; and the hiking friend who loved bird watching, Birds. This was a very creative and comedic way to get around the stickiness of friends and loved ones being overwhelmed and concerned when included in your life’s story.
By the end, Corey realizes that healing takes time and, sometimes, you just have to go with the flow and let life unfold on its own. This book is for anyone who has struggled with perfectionism, and offers the reader a chance to learn through someone else’s struggle to heal and move past their childhood trauma, finding love tightly packaged with endearment, laughter, and sensitivity. I feel anyone can learn about themselves by reading and understanding someone else’s struggles. The story is also a reminder that we all have similar struggles, and no one goes through life alone. If you’d like to follow Corey, you can find her inspirational stories on TikTok (@coreyseemiller) and Instagram (@lesbianlovelessons.corey), where she interviews lesbian-identified people who share a lesson they have learned about love.
Readers’ Favorite by Ruffina Oserio
The Soulmate Strategy: My Imperfect Plan to Conquer Heartbreak and Find True Love by Corey Seemiller is a candid memoir that documents her year-long journey from the wreck of a seven-year relationship to hard-won clarity. After discovering that her partner, Runner, has been emotionally unfaithful and enduring a chaotic separation, Seemiller is now alone in Tucson, surviving the “witching hours” of grief. How can someone who has given her more than she has ever craved suddenly betray her this way? Rather than giving in to despair, Corey designs “The Plan,” a bold, often absurd roadmap to healing that includes energy healers, manifesting, online dating, a past-life regression, tarot readings, and even a soulmate sketch. With the help of her peculiar friends, including Naked and Afraid, and TikTok, she sets out to remake herself and find the one.
The Soulmate Strategy is a compelling mix of human authenticity and neurotic overthinking. Corey Seemiller mines the most difficult moments for humor: interpreting a llama vision during Reiki, “saging” her house with spray, or narrating a dating app encounter with a dominatrix. She delivers this humor without trivializing her heartbreak. Her journey is filled with powerful lessons, and her discovery that love cannot be predicted or forced grounds the memoir, making it an inspirational book for those struggling with letting go and moving on from a broken relationship. She writes in a voice that blends compassion with clarity, exploring spiritual bypassing versus spiritual seeking, grit, the struggle with ambiguity, and the courage to be transparent. This memoir feels like listening to a great storyteller narrating her journey while taking in the lessons uncovered along her painful path and laughing out loud at her eccentricities.
The Soulmate Strategy earns its Booky on Emotional Resonance because Seemiller refuses to let heartbreak be either heroic or tidy. The opening pool-party scene — drunk lesbians grinding around her lone patio chair while she texts her faraway wingwoman from Ohio — is funny and humiliating in the right proportions, and then Seemiller lands the gut-punch: she climbs into her car and screams “I’m gonna die alone!” through sobs. The tonal pivot is earned, not manufactured.
The book’s emotional architecture is genuinely sophisticated. We get the slow-motion dissolution of the Runner relationship — the package with no water glass, Fun Home on the nightstand, the argument about whether texting someone “I’m interested in you” constitutes cheating — rendered with the kind of granular, uncomfortable specificity that only lived experience produces. Seemiller doesn’t editorialize; she just shows Runner walking out with trash bags full of T-shirts while she stress-eats jelly beans on the phone with her mother, and the scene does all the work.
On Characterization: TikTok (leopard-print pants, spiky hair, wingwoman from afar), Mom (one-line tough love, answers on the first ring), First Love (fabric bracelets, handwritten notes tucked into backpacks) — these are real people rendered in efficient, affectionate strokes. Even Runner is complicated rather than villainous. The Sparkle/Twinkle tooth-fairy subplot — Seemiller improvising a jurisdictional excuse for getting the fairy’s name wrong — is a small masterpiece of character-in-action: the solo parent improvising without her partner, grief tucked inside comedy.
TOP READS/BOOK LISTS
16 Spectacular Books for Your Pride Month
15 Queer Books to Escape Into This Summer
Podcasts/Radio Shows
KJZZ 91.5 (Local NPR in Phoenix): A Tucson Corporate Consultant Tries to Apply Efficient Business Strategies to Her Love Life
Seemiller was in her 40s, and felt like time was running out to find her soulmate. So, she decided to do what she advises her clients to do: make a plan and execute it.
Total Divorce Podcast: How to Heal After Separation: 44 Things I Tried
If you’re trying to feel better after separation and make sense of what healing really looks like, this episode offers honest reassurance and practical guidance for moving forward with self-compassion.
Between the Covers: Hero Study: Corey Seemiller
YouTube interview with Marcus Spaur about relinquishing control, a theme from her book, The Soulmate Strategy.
Simply Said with Polly Campbell: Finding Love, Surviving Heartbreak
Dr. Corey Seemiller, relationship coach, leadership expert, and author of The Soulmate Strategy, talks about what it takes to find love, deepen existing relationships, and overcome heartbreak. And why self-love and emotional intelligence are essential to developing our best relationships and finding our soulmates.
Simply Writes with Polly Campbell: Memoirist Corey Seemiller’s Intuitive Writing Process
Dateless in Delray: From Heartbreak to Hope: Dating, Generations & Emotional Intelligence with Dr. Corey Seemiller
What happens when a relationship expert experiences the kind of heartbreak she never saw coming? In this deeply honest episode of Dateless in Delray, Susan Shoer sits down with Dr. Corey Seemiller—award-winning leadership professor, global generational expert, and TEDx speaker—to talk about love, loss, and rebuilding after everything falls apart.
Caregiver Relief: Setting Boundaries and Letting Go of Guilt with Corey Seemiller
In this episode, we dive deep into the uncomfortable, essential art of setting healthy boundaries and, more importantly, how to finally release the guilt that keeps us trapped in a cycle of burnout.
The Culture Buzz on KFMG (98.9) with John Busbee: Corey Seemiller, Author of The Soulmate Strategy
Radio interview with John and Corey about her book, The Soulmate Strategy.
Becoming Emotionally Available with Dagmar Kusiak: The Shift That Finally Help Me Meet My Person
If you’ve done the therapy, read the books, journaled your heart out and sat with the thought, “Am I going to die alone?”, this one’s for you.
Manifest It Now with Cassie Parks & Ginny Gane: Manifesting a Soulmate
A transformative hike across the Grand Canyon symbolizes part of her emotional journey, highlighting the pattern of trying to force the manifestation and what she did to surrender and let go.
Rock That Relationship!: The Soulmate Strategy
Learn about the “event” that spurred the writing of The Soulmate Strategy, the role of the “Universe” in the path to healing and transformation, and the unwavering friendship that became the foundation for much of Corey’s journey in finding healing, peace, and love.
Life Choices:Why Relationships Get Stuck—and How to Rebuild Connection Before It’s Too Late
In this episode, Kim Olver kicks off the February focus on couples with an insightful conversation with Dr. Corey Seemiller about how relationships quietly get stuck—and what couples can do before disconnection becomes irreversible.
In Conversation with Terry Shepherd: Corey Seemiller – The Soulmate Strategy: My Imperfect Plan to Conquer Heartbreak and Find True Love
What happens when a master planner tries to out-strategize heartbreak? Corey Seemiller’s “The Soulmate Strategy,” explores her honest, funny, and deeply relatable journey from trying to control the pain of a very public breakup to discovering the freedom that comes with letting go.
Making it Last Podcast: What are the Different Types of Boundaries and How Might Someone Go About Setting Them?
Learn all about the 7 types of boundaries.
Articles
Out in Jersey: Corey Seemiller Makes Strategy from Tragedy – “The Soulmate Strategy”
Are you the very model of the modern techy lesbian? With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan, most of us are these days. When the love we thought we’d be forever turns out to be for now, and we’re left holding the quivering pieces of a broken heart, what’s next? Corey Seemiller gives us the answer in her newly released The Soulmate Strategy.
GirlTalkHQ: Soul-Searching LGBTQ Memoir About Finding Love & Healing Beyond The “Happily Ever After” Myth
Described as the perfect blend of heartbreak and hope, this LGBTQ memoir is perfect for those who believe in the law of attraction, who don’t believe in the “happily ever after” myth, and who know that following your heart can lead to happiness.
The Terry Shepherd Substack:The Strategy of Surrender
Her new memoir, The Soulmate Strategy: My Imperfect Plan to Conquer Heartbreak and Find True Love, promises instruction but delivers something messier and more instructive: the slow, necessary disintegration of the very instinct that produced it. Its subtitle, like a well-placed decoy, alludes to a methodology.
My Essays, Editorials, and QA
Ribbon Magazine: Interview: Author Corey Seemiller on Uncertainty, Breakups, and Her Book ‘The Soulmate Strategy’
She Writes Magazine: Golden Lessons For Writing Your Story
The Indie View: Indieview with Corey Seemiller, Author of The Soulmate Strategy
Book Q&As with Deborah Kalb: Q&A with Corey Seemiller
Sarahlyn Bruck Blog: Corey Seemiller joins the Author Spotlight this week to chat about her memoir
Authors Answer: Corey Seemiller
Lisa Haselton Book Reviews and Interviews: Interview with Memoirist, Corey Seemiller.
Women Writers, Women’s Books: Conversation Between Corey the Author (A) and Corey the Character (C).
Hasty Book List: Author Interview-Corey Seemiller
Shepherd: The Best Books About Soulmates, Serendipity, and Second Chances
Trenzle: A Conversation with Corey Seemiller, an Award-Winning Professor and Author
Authority Magazine: Corey Seemiller, Author of Rock that Relationship! Podcast On Top 5 Strategies for Growing Your Podcast Audience
For Media Inquiries
Crystal Patriarche
BookSparks
crystal@BookSparksPR.com
(480) 650-1688
The Backstory
What Prompted My Journey
Despite having experienced widespread professional success, in 2021, my long-term relationship came to an abrupt end, sending me into a tailspin. My efforts to analyze, organize, and micromanage my way from heartbreak to healing resulted in the writing of my memoir. Thus, while everything else in my life was going to plan, my love life was chaotic, and my Type A, Virgo, perfectionist self tried voraciously to get control so I could move on and find “the one.”
What Drove Me to Write the Book?
As a lesbian, I know first-hand that there are very few books that validate the life experiences, relationships, and heartbreak of women who love women. I know because I was on an endless search for them when I was suffering heartache. When my seven-year relationship came crashing down, I was left scrambling for anything that could help me feel in control. I needed information, validation, inspiration . . . whatever would make the pain subside and allow me to move on and find love again. I binged podcasts and audiobooks, but nothing fully reached me. So, I chronicled my heartbreak to healing journey as it was happening. Writing this book as my life unfolded was wholly authentic, raw, and unscripted, leaving me not knowing the ending until I felt that the story reached what felt like its natural destination. My hope is that my story inspires readers to love themselves, missteps and all, as they go through or reflect on their own journeys from heartbreak to healing to the possibility of love again.
Who is This Book For?
Most people want to move through heartbreak and find lasting love. And, many, including me, would do just about anything to make that happen. For those reading this book while suffering heartache, I want them to feel like they aren’t alone in their desperation to gain control of the ambiguity, unpredictability, and confusion surrounding their situation. Maybe, through my journey, they can see that all of that is simply part of the healing process . . . even with the best laid plans. While not every reader will be in the midst of heartbreak or on a search for love, I hope that all will feel connected to my experience and validated in their own past healing journeys, as they navigate my sadness, hope, angst, embarrassment, absurdity, and joy. When the reader turns the last page, I want them to feel hopeful, inspired, and affirmed in that healing and finding love is never a direct journey, and that underneath that quest is often happiness hiding in plain sight.